Blech!

I do not feel well at all. I think it might be the stomach flu...I have no idea but I feel like I'm going to be sick. Not a good feeling to have at work. On a brighter note I have to leave early to take my mom to the psychiatrist. Nothing much going on...busy with school. I have a lot of work I have to do and I just don't feel like getting it done. My dog's sick too. She got a hold of some raisinettes (sp) and I think she might of gotten some sleeping pills too but that hasn't affected her. I have no idea what I'm going to do with her. She does this only when we aren't home. I wish I could be there or take her with me but that's just not feasible. I can't afford to get her into training at the moment especially since she still needs to be fixed. This coming weekend is Super Bowl. I'm excited. We're rooting for the Bears...here's hoping that they win. I tend to pick the "underdog" and they always seem to be just that and never win. I'm hoping that this I have a little bit more luck. We'll see. Other than that I have no idea what's going on this weekend. Keith is feeling much better. There were a couple times over the weekend I thought he was going to get sick but he didn't. I think that might have been because he had a hangover. I did too on Saturday. I felt like crap...hence why I don't drink often. We went to a card game over the weekend....actually I just took him there and watched them play. He won which made him super happy since he hasn't gotten paid in forever because the guy who he does work for decided to go on vacation without paying him. Nice, right? So anyway...that's all that's been happening. Nothing exciting to report. Now if only I could stop feeling like crap and move on with things. I keep telling myself only 3 1/2 more hours. It sucks watching the clock.

Freak Out

Not to start off on a bad note but someone close to me as cancer. He's had it for quite some time and currently he can't get treatment for it. Why? Because he doesn't have medical insurance and the program he was in was all the way in Baltimore. He lives in Abingdon and doesn't have his license at this time. So he had no choice but to drop out of the program until he got his license back which is happening right now. He has a lot of stuff going on and I only wish there was a way for me to help him. I know it's on his mind all the time..how could it not be. He's in the "advanced" stages and I'm pretty sure he said it's terminal. That has to be scary. The weekend got off to a rocky start which I'm not even going to bother mentioning but regardless it wasn't good. Saturday we were going to go play cards but considering everything that happened the night before, he just wanted to sleep so that's what wound up happening. (I know this is all super exciting for anyone who is even bothering reading this) And yesterday I took him down to Brooklyn so that he could figure out why the heat wasn't working in one of the houses he worked on. He's not a heating and air guy so I don't even know why he went down there. Anyway there wasn't anything he could do because you have to pay your bill so that you have electric which didn't happen. Luckily no one lives in there yet so they weren't freezing. Then we headed to Guitar Center so he could mess around on the instruments and stuff there. He's really good at the drums and I think if he wanted to he could play piano with a little more practice. Anyway the reason for me writing this is because, and this sounds so unbelievable selfish, is because I'm petrified. I want to help him and I'm trying to stay positive that he can beat the cancer but every time I think about it it upsets me. I mean I know he thinks about it all the time, how could you not? but seriously I don't know how he deals with it. If I think about it too much I cry...and I'm not even involved in the matter, you know? I just want to help in any way I can. I don't care what that entails. We had stopped at his moms so that he could pick up his iHome since he left it there Friday and she wasn't feeling well. She started flying off the handle at hime for no reason. It was ridiculous. She reminds me a lot of my mom in that sense. I guess that's why we get along so well. So that put him in a seriously bad mood on top of freaking me out because when we were driving home we hit some ice and spun out. When I get scared I cry and sometimes get sick ( TMI I know) and he's never seen that before so I freaked him out. I didn't mean to it's just how I am. He did the best he could and he didn't hit anyone or anything. That's what happens when the tires go bald and a mini snow storm hits. My fault completely...but I felt so bad for scaring him like that. It was just not the best weekend. I think the best day was yesterday. On the drive down and back to Brooklyn we just talked which I like to do....as you can tell. I just like hearing stories and the such. So I don't know...even how to end this. It went in the completely opposite direction from where I thought it was going to go. I'm just scared. I don't want him to die anytime soon...I know that's selfish but it's just that once he starts getting himself together he gets this crap and now what? I don't know...it's just a rough situation all around especially for him. He's got so much drama going on sometimes I think he doesn't know what to do with himself...hence why I try to divert his attention to doing just about anything else.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is one of the most important days of the year to me: it is the observance of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. Martin Luther King Jr. was probably one of the most influential human beings to ever walk this Earth. He believed in passive resistance and civil disobedience to further his idea that all people were created and should be treated equal. This is a very special day for not only black Americans but should be a special day for all people that want to see an end to oppression around the world. There has been no one like Dr. King and unfortunately I don't think there ever will be. It is always my hope that some one would emerge to help unite people of all races and creeds to make the world a better safer place. If there is anything that we should have learned as a people is that hate gets you no where fast; neither does ignorance. I know there are a lot of people that see things that are going wrong and feel that there isn't anything that they can do about it so why worry. That's where the problem lies. If all people thought that way we would be in some serious trouble. I know a lot of people, myself included, that sometimes feel that the worlds problems are much bigger than they are and there is no way they can possibly make a difference. By uniting together peacefully people can make a difference. If we've learned anything from Dr. King's legacy it is that if we unite peacefully that we can enact change. My hope for the coming years is that change comes and we start heading in the right direction. Remember Dr. King's legacy and acknowledge that while we've come a long way since 1968 but we still have a long way to go.

A Very Good Day Indeed!

I have about 2 weeks before I go back to school. I'm kind of excited but at the same time I'm not. I have mixed feelings about the coming semester and I'm not 100% sure why. I know I have to concentrate and stay on task but with so much crap going on it's gonna be hard. I think I can do it though. I have to keep telling myself that all I have to do is finish this semester and the summer and I'll be done at least where I'm at. I still have to finish about another 2 years but the point of the matter is that I'm finishing and I know where I'm going. That's always a positive place to be at in your mind. I still need to go get my books too. Not looking forward to that at all. It's going to cost a lot of money and since I haven't received any word at all about a loan I guess it'll all come out of pocket once again. Yeah I got some of the money back from last semester but that went to Christmas so I'm pretty much tapped as far as that goes. I should probably talk to the financial aid office about the loan thing. That would be helpful. I know I'm going to need it for the Summer semester because financial aid doesn't apply to the summer. And there is no way that I'm going to be able to afford the classes I need to take to finish. It's just not going to happen. We'll see. I need to worry about this semester first.

Saturday I had the most fun I've had in a long time. I was supposed to run my mom downtown but since the place she needed to go to was closed I didn't have to take her. My cell phone was acting wonky so I decided to take it to Verizon to see what the deal was. Turns out that there wasn't anything they could do. My phone had water damage from sitting in the cup holder. They say a lot of people have had the same issue and to not put it in the cup holder with something next to it. That would have been helpful a long time ago but oh well. So I had to buy a new phone and spent much more than I wanted to. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have but there isn't much I can do about it now. That wasn't the fun part of Saturday though. It was beyond gorgeous on Saturday...it was like 70 degrees outside and would have been a waste to sit inside some where. Keith was working Saturday but was getting off at around 2. We decided we were going to play mini-golf but those plans changed. He took me to Susquehanna State Park. (I didn't take those pictures...they were just some that I found) I've never actually been there....I've been past it but never actually went in there. Anyway the one road was closed so we had to take the round about way to get to the places he wanted to show me (the best part to me). He showed me all around the park with little anecdotes about what he did and who he was with at the time. I love hearing people reminisce like that. Anyway we drove around there for about an hour or so before it got dark and at one point he did one of his favorite activities: tree tackling. It sounds immature and it is but it's funny as hell to watch.

Then he said he was going to show me Havre de Grace. I've been to Havre de Grace a couple times but I never saw the places he showed me. He fishes there a lot when he can and took me to some of his favorite spots. At one it was gross because there was a nasty grungy chair sticking out of the water which was a shame because it would have been pretty otherwise. There was another chair in close proximity to the grungy one which must have just fell in. So he decided to take them both out and even got another piece of trash out of there. We set it by the garbage cans...our civic duty for the week :) We went to a couple more places finally ending at the promenade; another place I've never been to. It's like a mini-boardwalk for people to walk up and down while looking at the bay. It was nice. We climbed down onto the "beach" for lack of a better word...it was mostly rocks but there was a bit of sand there since the tide was out. There was a light house and everything. It was just nice. By this time though it was pretty dark and the wind had started to pick up so it was time to head back. We then went to dinner with his daughter and her boyfriend which is always fun. They're hilarious! It was just one of the best days I've had in a very very long time. I love doing stuff like that. Just wandering around seeing what's out there. I'd do it every day if I could but that's not an option. Hopefully we'll have another day like that again soon. I'm kind of itching for winter to be over already even though we haven't had any real winter-like weather. No snow yet and the temperatures have been mild although it was chilly this morning on the way in to work. Can't complain though as long as there isn't any snow to drive in. I get sick when I have to drive in the snow. Something about the way the snow flies at the window makes me nauseous. Not pretty!

I don't know what's in store for the rest of the week but on Saturday I will be watching the football game. The Colts (boo!) vs. the Ravens (YAY!). People are not nice when the Colts play here. Even though it happened over 20 years ago it's like a fresh wound is being opened for some people having the Colts come back to Baltimore. All I can say is that I feel for the Colts fans. It's not going to be pretty when they get here. There is a lot of animosity towards Colts fans here. I'm staying positive and I think the Ravens are the better team anyway. I'm maintaining faith that they're going to bring their A game and wallop the Colts back to Indianapolis. I don't know where I'm going to watch the game but where ever I am it'll be interesting. If we win this weekend, then we're headed to another playoff game against whoever wins between San Diego and New England and hopefully if we win that then it's on to the Super Bowl. It's exciting! I can't wait! I wish it was the weekend already. I know I shouldn't be pushing it but still. So many people are looking forward to this weekend, myself included, that the week is going to drag on. It already feels like should be Thursday to me.

Happy New Year!

Well that was yesterday but still....I'm sick and it sucks bad! I can't seem to shake this cold. If I'm not feeling even a little better by the end of the day I think I'm going to have to go to the dr. I don't know what it is but I'm miserable. The party at my brothers went fairly well. Keith went with me which was a great relief and I love Dave...he always makes me feel welcome. I was a little peeved at my sister because she didn't show up until after 9. I missed her by 10 minutes. Oh well...and then on New Years Eve I went to Mr. Tony's girlfriends house with Keith and then headed to Heidi's. We stayed there til a little after midnight and then headed to his house where I spent the night and the majority of the day yesterday. We were both feeling like crap, me because I was sick and his stomach was still bothering him. I wish there was something I could do for him but there isn't. And so I'm back at work today. Mom is supposed to enter a 30 rehab program sometime this week. I think it should have been done a long time ago but what do I know. Dannielle said that in order for her to keep her job that she was going to have to commit herself. As I write this she's at St. Joe's because she's been getting sick all morning. It might be her heart but I think it has more to do with the booze than anything else. I guess I'll know something at some point today. I don't know if I'm going to even stay here all day. I might just head out early...depends on how I feel and if my aunt can leave early since I'm her ride in. I don't feel like going home but I can at least walk the dog and maybe take a nap before either going to the dr's or finding something else to do. Hope everyone had a Happy New Year!