Nothing Much

Still nothing really going on. Just kinda existing at the moment. I keep trying to remind myself to give Frankie a call but I never know when its a good time because of his work schedule. Magie doesn't want him at her party on Saturday which I feel bad about and so does she but considering all the crap that has happened when he drinks, its not a good idea. I mean he gets out of control and he will listen to no one. The last thing he needs is to get in his car and drive home after he has had a few. I absolutely hate drinking and driving and he always does it. So we will see I suppose. I'm supposed to go to Heidi's on Sunday. The more I think about it the more I want to go. I mean you never know. There might be someone interesting there. Being socially awkward is never fun but thats just the way things go. Read some posts this morning about Bush's speech. Morons! Most of them anyway. Saying that the democrats are whiny little babies. Some are but most are just outraged. I know I am. I mean its like this: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Done, final. Why do conservatives insist on taking Bush's side and defending what he says? It just makes them look stupid. They are blind. They're nothing but sheep. America had a chance to change where it was going but it was squandered and people got scared and now we are stuck with Bush again. Sometimes I question the intelligence of the nations majority. If the presidents approval rating is so low and things aren't going the way they want them to, why did they vote for him? I don't want to hear this crap about morals. Whether you are democrat, republican, or other, you choose the best candidate for the job. End of story. Look where this war has gotten us. We are no closer to establishing a democratic country that we were 2 years ago when we went there. I was against the war then and I have been ever since war in Iraq was an idea in Bush's pea of a brain. I just get so angry. I think about all those people that have died and what have they died for? There isn absolutely no improvement whatsoever in Iraq. And yes I know it is an "occupational hazard" but it seems like nothing short of murder to me. He is controlling the fates of so many people and to him it just a game of Risk. He makes me sick and I wish there was something I could do about it. I have written my congressman (a Republican unfortunately) and I have written my senators and various other people who might have influence. Nothing seems to be getting done. Why are we voting for these people if they aren't listening to us? I even wrote the president, the vp, the sod and I get the run around. We need a change and soon. Thats my rant for the day.

Sick

I stayed home from work yesterday because I wasn't feeling all that great. I had a bad headache that woke me up in the middle of the night. It went away and now its back. I really want to leave work so that I can go home and sleep. I need to get away from my house though. I can't deal with being there all the time. I rarely get out so I think I need like a day away from home and the people that live there. I need to be alone. Heidi's surprise party went great. She was surprised which was good because Alison thought that she might have thought something was up. Then I went home and then I went back down to hang out with Heidi and her friends. All I can say is that they are weird. I mean I know people that may be a little strange but come on. They were just a little too strange for me. They are all really outgoing and, lets just say they have no shame. It reminded me of a party I would have attended when I was 18. It was very similar to the experiences we had at my step-brothers house before he got married. Sunday we took dad out for a belated Fathers Day lunch. Nothing much really happened. I mean nothing out of the ordinary. My dad is almost 70 and he is again starting his own business. He and my uncle had a falling out of sorts so he left. I really wish I would have went to school this summer. I feel like I don't have anything to do. I need to do something. I get bored realy easy and nothing seems to be helping. I think I'm going to go to the library and get out a book or two. I don't know what books have come out recently so it will take some time for me to read. I think I will read "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. I think that is something I would probably love. On Friday I have to help Maggie and Longo move. I hate moving people but they are my friends and someday I might need their help. On Sunday, I am supposed to go to Heidi's for a pre-4th of July party seeing as no one really wants to go to a party and then have to get up in the morning. We'll see though. Well thats all for now.

Bored Out of My Mind!

Not much has been going on lately. Just been hanging out anxiously waiting to see whats gonna happen next. Maggie's birthday was on Tuesday and I told her and Longo to come over for dinner. That was fun and then we left for the pet store. She wanted a ferret so they went to see what kind they had and get an idea as to how much it was going to cost. They didn't get one that day but they went yesterday and got not one but two. It wound up costing them something like 571.00. Too rich for my blood but you know who am I to tell anyone how to spend their money. Frankie was supposed to call me yesterday to let me know he was home. He didn't (I really didn't expect it. He always forgets) so I will probably talk to him later I guess. Things have changed so much between us that it is hard to think that at one point we were pretty much inseperable. We were always together and now we are lucky if we see each other once every couple of months. Oh well, what can you do. I mean he made his bed now he's gotta sleep in it. (I hate cliches!) I can't wait for school to come back around. I wish I would have went for the summer but I didn't know where I was gonna be living. It'll all be good once the fall comes around. I'm prepared. Heidi's surprise party is tomorrow. I really don't want to go but its Heidi and I have to go. No one has done anything for her birthday in years so I need to be there. She is the closest person to me right now and really has been for years. I miss the kids. They are so adorable. I can't wait to have kids. But that isn't going to be for quite sometime unless I get stupid. I need to get out. Bad. I think tomorrow once we leave the party I'm gonna go out with Jason, Ali, and Paul. (If Paul somes with Ali) He got really angry with her for getting piercings. I don't blame him for getting angry I mean its a trust thing but I do think that he overreacted a bit by saying that he was thinking about breaking up with her. I hope that never happens. Paul is the best thing to happen to her and I really would hate to see her lose that. I can only hope that I find someone like him. He is one of the best people I know. Not much else has been going on like I said. Just working and sleeping. I wish I could get in touch with some people that I haven't spoken to in years for Frankie's going away party. That is if he winds up going to Iraq. We'll see. It's not the first time he has said that he was going and the past 2 times he obviously hasn't gone. I was thinking that it just goes to show you how much we haev grown apart in the last year. I can remember a time when I cried so hard that he was leaving that I made myself ill. That doesn't happen anymore. I cared for so long that now it just seems like it was a waste of time and energy. But you live and learn (another cliche!). My attentions need to be focused on something that is real and thats what I'm trying to do. When I am ready for a real relationship, I will know and I will know who the right guy is (hopefully) . I have a tendency to fall for guys who are needy and more than once some professional help. So I need to work on that too. Well thats all for now. Perhaps I will have something good to write about soon. We'll see.