Right Way

Well....nothing new as usual...I was thinking about getting a dog. The more I think about it though the more I think it's a bad idea. I'm not home a lot because I leave for work so early and I don't get home til later in the evening and with school and all...I just think it would be unfair to the poor dog. I think if I had a job closer to home and was out of school it would be better. I still want a dog though but I think it would be best to wait a little while. My sister's birthday was yesterday. Happy Birthday Ali even though she doesn't read this. She's 26 so for a couple weeks we are the same age...well as far as years go..I'm still 11 months older than her. She's always hated that. When we were kids I was the typical older sibling...I was trusted a little more than my sisters were and got to do some things that my parents didn't feel were age appropriate for my sisters. Alison would always say "she's only 11 months older than me...not even a whole year!" It's funny now but back then it used to make her really mad. My sisters and I are like steps: Amanda will be 25 in a little under a month, Ali just turned 26, and I'll be 27 in about 3 weeks. It's strange you know..aging. I don't feel any different now than I did when I was 23. I've grown up a lot as far as taking responsibility for my own actions and stopping all the partying that I used to do. Now you'd be lucky to get me to have more than a beer when I'm out with friends. I think it's a good thing though. I mean I had my time and it's done and over with Thank God!

It's hard to believe I'm going to be 27 though. I didn't think this is where I'd be at this age. I don't know where I thought I'd be but it certainly wasn't here. You know how people always say they have no regrets? I always thought that was a bunch of bull...recently I've been thinking and sure there have been a lot of bad times but there were good times too. There are things that have happened that I thought were terrible but when I look back I'm grateful they happened. Take Frankie going into the army. If he hadn't I know I would be in a bad place in my life...probably dead or close to it. I know that sounds bad but I think had he not left I would have continued drinking and abusing drugs and who knows where I'd be. Sure I miss him and I wish he was around more but while he was gone I grew up. I could never tell him that though...I think he'd be hurt by it which isn't my intention at all. I'm just saying I would be in a bad place had he stuck around....and I don't even want to think about what would have happened had we gotten together...that would have definitely been a bad thing so I'm glad things turned out the way they did.

I know I'm heading in the right direction now. I don't know where I'll be this time next year or in the next 5 years but I have a general idea. I know that I'm going to take things as they come and like the old cliche goes I won't sweat the small stuff. I'll just keep on keeping on like I always do. I'm excited about where things are going...life is good. Oh and a really good song to listen to is "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. I know it's a little sappy and all that but I like the story behind it which is that he wrote it about a crack addicted teen he was mentoring years ago. Anyway it's a really really good song.