No-Goodness

Well lots of things going on. First....mom's off the wagon. I caught her last week and I don't think Thursday was the first time she's drank since rehab. Looking back I think it would have been better for her to stay the full 28 days but we were really hoping that it wouldn't. I guess we were wrong. I dog sat for my aunt over the weekend and on Sunday Frankie, Jenn, and I went out and watched the Ravens game (we won but just barely). Mom fell in the tub on Sunday and refused to go to the dr's. She was drunk once again. And yesterday she was drunk too only she had to leave work because she was supposed to go to the ER so that she could get herself checked out. She drank the whole time she was there and the ER people knew it. She wound up leaving without being seen and headed to Patient First but refused to go in. I left work at 4:30 and when I got outside she called and said she wanted to die. She called all of us and said that and proceeded to try and cut herself when we got home. I really don't know how to deal with this stuff. I wish there was something I could do for her but I can't think of anything. I think she needs to see a psychiatrist but she won't and I know she's off her meds. I'm at a lost and so is everyone in the family. This isn't the first time she's attempted suicide either. When we were kids she od'd by taking a bottle of tylenol with a bottle of vodka. I really wish I knew what to do here. I don't know how to help her if she doesn't want to get help. We could commit her but she wouldn't stay. She'd be out before we knew it and right back to square one. I'm really worried about Mr. Mike in all this. He's been dealing with a lot as far as his own health and to add this on top I'm afraid something's going to happen with him too. I would really lose it if something happened to him.

So it's a whole lot of no-goodness going on here. And I'm behind in my school work which is adding more to it. I know I shouldn't be worrying about school but it's what keeps me sane at the moment. Hopefully things will turn around and soon.