President Barack Obama

Well it's finally happened...Barack Obama is president. I couldn't be more thrilled. I wanted to go to D.C. to be part of the crowd but I don't do well in large crowds like that or traffic. Besides I had to work anyway. I did get to catch his speech and swearing in. People at work set up the projector and all that in one of the conference rooms so that people wouldn't miss it. I'm so happy that Bush is gone. Yeah I know he didn't create all the problems but he had a hand in it. I didn't like his policies on certain things and had a hard time identifying with him. Dick Cheney is still the devil. I caught myself wishing that his wheelchair would flip over and he would tumble out. I know that's a horrible thing to think but I couldn't help it. I think Dick Cheney is probably one of the most awful corrupt human beings on the planet and to have him in that high an office was scary. It's a miracle we survived 8 years of that nonsense. So now I'm looking forward happy that this country is finally getting on the right track. I've been a fan of Obama since his keynote speech at the DNC back in '04. I knew he was going to be something but I didn't know if or when he was going to be president. Unfortunately I thought that there would be a chance that something would happen that would deter him from running for office. I'm glad that didn't happen and that the majority of Americans were with him all the way. It's been a wild ride that's for sure. I'm glad I lived to see the first African American president elected to office. Looking back on election night, remembering when the results came in. Flipping from one channel to another. I caught Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's special and I can remember seeing both Stewart and Colbert tear up a little when announcing that Obama had won. I did the same thing. How could you not tear up a little when that happened? I really believe that Obama was the right person for the job and his presidency has already gone down in history. I hope that it will go down as one of the most successful presidencies the U.S. has seen. Of course only time will tell. When I have kids and grandkids I'll be able to tell them what I got to see and what part I had in helping him get there even if it was just 1 vote. One vote adds up to millions and I'm glad I could witness this event. Here's to Obama and at least 4 years of hope and change.

George Carlin 1937-2008

Yesterday one of the funniest people on the planet died. I didn't know much about George Carlin growing up except that he was Rufus in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". It wasn't until I was older that I was more exposed to his humor. His "Seven Dirty Words" routine challenged free speech. I can remember watching him when I used to babysit on "Shining Time Station" where he played the conductor. It kind of showed a softer side to the dirty mouth that most people were accustomed to. He was also an author...one of his books "Napalm and Silly Putty" is one the funniest books I ever read. It's the kind of book that you would have sitting out on a coffee table (at least in my house you would) and you could just pick it up and open it to a random page and find something funny. The absolute BEST movie he was ever in (once again in my opinion) was "Dogma". The Catholic Church hated that movie and at the risk of sounding like a complete idiot I think it was a very thought provoking movie as well as completely hilarious. The reason I'm writing is because he'll be deeply missed by people he had never might and in all actuality would probably hate. RIP.

Something Worth Blogging About!

As many people know the primaries and caucuses have been going on for about 6 months. It feels like it's been going on a lot longer but the Democratic Party FINALLY has a nominee and I couldn't be happier about it. Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee! I'm so excited. You know it's kind of groundbreaking to realize that both a black man and a woman have been so prominent in a presidential race. Usually you see old crusty white guys (not that there's anything wrong with that) battling it out. To realize that in my life time a black man and a woman have a legitimate chance of being put in the White House! It's amazing. But anyway Obama has a great chance of defeating McCain. I respect John McCain. He was a POW and he suffered a lot in his life. However I do not like his policies therefore I will be voting for Mr. Obama. A couple years ago at the last Democratic National Convention Barack Obama spoke and I can remember listening to him and being completely enthralled by what he was saying. He truly stole the show from John Kerry. People knew then that he was going to be something. Many say that he doesn't have enough experience to become an effective President. To that I say this: I'd rather have someone who is fairly new to the game rather than someone who is completely corrupted by Washington. Sometimes having experience doesn't make up for the ineptitudes a person has in other places. Not to beat a dead horse but look at our current president. He had "experience" and he's turned this country on it's head. No he's not completely to blame but there are some things like the wars that we are fighting that he is responsible for (not solely of course. Congress had to approve it which they did even if they had bad information). I want to see an America that is proud, honorable, and kind. I want to see what a person like Barack Obama will do to the American political landscape. It's just such an exciting time to be alive and paying attention to what's going on in this country. We still have 5 months to go before the General election. Both candidates are worthy however I'm sticking with Obama like I previously stated. As a person who voted for him earlier this year I can understand what is driving people to his "side" for lack of a better term. One of Obama's slogans is "Change" and I think just him being nominated is representative of that. I just hope he gets in so we can see what can happen.

Aiden Christopher Longo

Today my best friend, Maggie, and her husband David (I call him Longo...it's habit) had their first baby a boy named Aiden Christopher Longo. They now live in Clarksville, TN so I wasn't able to be there but I really wish I was. I can't wait to see him! Hopefully she'll have pictures out soon. He was 2 weeks overdue and was delivered via C-section. I'm so happy for them. I really can't wait to see him. Maybe I'll be able to get down there sometime soon. Things haven't been going well here financially and personally so it might be sometime but I'll do my best to get there soon! So on that note Congrats Maggie and Longo and Welcome Aiden Christopher!

Doormat!

I don't have any other outlet to vent my frustration with so many things so I'm blogging. I'd given it up because frankly I wouldn't want to read this crap if I was someone else so this entry is just for me. It's a new year so I'm taking things into my own hands. I'm not going to let people walk all over me and just take it because I don't think I'm worth anything. I am worth something. I'm not much but I'm something. I'm human I make mistakes I do all that stuff. So what's the deal with the change? Other than realizing that living my life the way I used to was getting no where I learned something about people. I made a MISTAKE but on the other hand the person should have been honest with me. I don't want to use names on the OFF chance that someone somewhere that knows this person might read it. A while back someone told me that they were sick with HIV. I'm not scared of HIV, I've known people with it and they live long lives. However, if it is going to put me at risk let me know. Don't be afraid to tell me. I should know right? I mean it's the decent thing to do. Don't tell me you have it then tell me you don't and then I learn that you do. Just be honest. I never wanted anything but the truth and my not telling me the truth you're disrespecting me. I asked the person point blank and they said no. They lied. People lie all the time out of fear and I know that's why this particular person lied to me but it doesn't change my opinion of the person because they have a disease. Yeah I've probably never been 100% honest with this person either but it was over dumb shit. Not something like this. I would NEVER play with people like that and until this person tells me otherwise I'm going to feel played. I should totally be telling this to the person but at the moment I can't think of a way to approach it without hurting them. I'm just so angry. I just wanted honesty and for you to ignore that hurts more than you could know. I love this person to death I really do but I thought that when it comes to things like this you wouldn't lie to the ones you love. I guess you didn't really care about me because if you did you wouldn't have done what you did. I'm sorry this is going into way more detail than I had planned but like I said I have no other outlet. I just want truth. I know that's a lot to ask but considering who I am I think it would be safe to say that I would accept you for who you are and nothing else. I was ok with it when you originally told me. It has to be scary and what's even scarier is that you don't have anyone else to talk to about it. I've had people in my family that have had this disease. I know how it's transmitted I know how to be safe. I would never think of someone less because of a disease. For you to obviously think I would hurts me more than you not being honest with me. I'm so upset right now....I don't even know what I'm doing. I just wanted to be there for you and you continually push me away and lie. I can't deal with that. The good thing to come out of this is that it forced me to realize that I'm not a doormat. I deserve better than that.

Getting Better

Things are getting a little better...not a whole lot but still better than they were. I have my moments where I think that things are just going the wrong way but after a while I stop thinking like that and try to be positive. Since Keith and I broke up we haven't been hanging out as much as we used to obviously. I'm still trying to work my feelings out. I still care about him a lot and sometimes it's like it used to be but for the most part I just miss him a lot. Last week was my dad's birthday party...that was fun. He went along with me...and I made an ass out of myself but oh well. Not much I can do about that now. We also went to see Van Halen this week which was in a word awesome. I had such a good time even though I got lost in DC. I got the tickets a while back when we were still dating and like I said I still care about him and the reason for me buying the tickets was for him. Van Halen is his favorite band and I wanted to do something nice for him so I bought them. So it's been weird the last almost 2 months. I mean like I said I still talk to him and hang out but it's weird because I still feel the way I do and there isn't anything I can really do about it. No matter what I do it's not going to change things. Only he can do that. My birthday is coming up next week...I think that might have a lot to do with how I've been feeling lately. It's kinda freaking me out. I'm still working on getting myself together but I'll be 28. I should in reality have done all this a while ago but I didn't. I did get a new car which is awesome and that's a huge step down the road to independence. I just need to get a couple more things together and I should be well on my way.

Not So Good

Unfortunately things haven't been going all that well the past month or so. Keith and I broke up yesterday. I knew it was coming...things have been off for a while. It was mutual but I can't say that I'm not hurt. I'm hurting a lot right now...I wish it had worked out. On a brighter note we agreed to be friends. He just can't deal with everything he is along with dealing with a relationship. The timing was off...had it been a couple years ago or if things were going better on the homefront, then I think it would have worked out. Maybe I'm just making excuses...it's hard. I really cared about him and I don't think I told him enough. I was actually in love for the first time in my life. Scary I know...I guess I'll just have to deal with it. We've been through a lot in the past year. He's dealing with a lot with the cancer and him trying to face that. I wish I knew how he was feeling but I don't. I wish I could just make things better but I can't. It's hard because I wanted to be. I'm a fixer. I don't like drama all that crap. I'll get over it I'm sure it's just going to take a while. I don't think he really knew how much he meant and still means to me. I've accepted the fact that he might not be here long but you know he was worth it. I don't regret anything that's happened with us aside from me not opening up more. I guess it's something that I can say I learned and work on. I would much rather be home but instead I'm here at work. I need to decompress and try and forget about it a while. He told me that he still wants me around...he loves that I come over to help Devin with her homework and we hang out. After we talked for a while and got what we needed to say out it was like it used to be. I'm really going to miss him though. It's going to be hard seeing him and not being able to see him. Don't know if that makes any sense at all. I took it a lot better than I thought I would. I didn't cry until after I got home and it really hit me. Well that's all I have to say at this point...Here's some music I've been listening to:

"Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" Fall Out Boy: Yeah I know they're emo-tastic but I really like this song. I like the lead singers voice.

"Smack That!" Akon: This song's been out a while but I still like it.

"Clothes Off!" Gym Class Heroes: Another band you could say was emo but this song is great. It sample a great song from the 80's and the lead singer from Fall Out Boy sings the chorus.

"Rockstar" Nickelback: It's just a fun song to sing to especially when you're in the car.

"Big Girls Don't Cry" Fergie: I'm not a huge Fergie fan but I really really like this song. In light of recent events it has more meaning to me.

"Better Than Me" Hinder: Great song...and once again another song that holds more meaning for me at the moment.

"Breath" Breaking Benjamin: See above...same reason

"Forever" Papa Roach: Once again see above.